Glad You Came
by daltonjaydd
Summary: A drabble-y, AU, crack fic about the adventures of a human Akatsuki. Minor-Moderate OOC-ness in most characters. Pairings explained in first chapter. Rated for possible future chapters and language.
1. Fuzzy Handcuffs

**A/N: Hey guys! Here's the first chapter. It features a fluffy Kisame, and some verrrry ooc Akatuski men XD. This chapter is Kisame/OC-centric, along with minor Ita/Dei, Saso/Hida, and Pein/OC. I hope you enjoy this :))**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, sadly.**

**Warnings: Um... none? ... yet ;)**

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It was a seemingly typical day for the group of men, and some women. Everyone was chilling out and laughing and watching tv when Rayne, my incredibly loud mouthed friend and damn-near sitster, decided to open her never-quiet mouth.

Pointing an accusing finger at the man under me she yelled, "THAT DAMNED PLESIOSAURUS STOLE MY FUZZY HANDCUFFS!"

As if to prove her point, she held up a pair of hand cuffs, adorned in fuzzy cheetah print fur. My eyes widened and I tried to suppress the blush flooding my cheeks.

Through gritted teeth, my "Plesiosaurus" spoke, "Those. Aren't. Yours. They're... ours."

A blush fierce enough to battle mine spread over her tanned skin, followed by a look of complete disgust and horror, "YOU KINKY FUCKS. EW."

She quickly threw the handcuffs in the air, hoping for them to land on my lap, which they did. I let out a small giggle as she fled to Itachi's lap and curled into a ball, rocking herself gently. Itachi just stared at Pein in confusion, mouthing "This is your job..."

Pein shook his head and stood, walking to Itachi, "Come along, dear."

He picked up his cowering lover and cradled her to his chest. He grinned at Kisame and mouthed something about a "good job" and left the room, presumably to his own to "comfort" Rayne.

I took the chance to glance at Kisame. He gave me his typical sharky grin and pecked my cheek. My blush deepened when I looked around the room. All the men where staring at us, looks of either jealousy or curiosity covered their faces.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. We use handcuffs, who cares?" I blubbered and giggled nervously when this snapped the men out of their reverie, their attention turning back to the television.

Kisame's lips pressed to a sensitive spot on my neck and his teeth scraped gently over the skin. He shook the handcuffs and smirked against my neck. Biting back the small moan manifesting in my throat, I shook my head in the negative manner, and looked at the tv.

Kisame was okay with this, though he didn't cease his wonderful assault on my neck. He shifted a bit in his chair, allowing me to sprawl out more comfortably. My butt in his lap, he wrapped his arms around my waist and inhaled against my neck.

"New perfume?" He looked up at me and smiles softly, the smile only I saw.

I let out a small giggle and nodded, "I stopped wearing Juicy, 'cause I'm running out. This is some Missoni shit. Smells like-"

Kisame cut me off with another deep breath, and a breathy response, "Melon and grapefruit. It smells divine."

I blushed and snuggled against him. Again, he was pressing his lips to my neck and kissing all along the left side of my neck. I let my eyes flutter shut, and a dreamy smile spread across my face. I laid my hands over his and laced my fingers between his, tipped in blue-painted fingernails. His lips parted and his teeth gently scraped over my neck, sending shivers through me, and spreading goosebumps over my flesh like goosebumps. I wet my lips and let them stay parted, my breath escaping through them in soft pants.

He smiled against my neck and bit down a bit harder, and applied suction, giving me a mark that said I was his, and his alone. A soft moan escaped my lips, but I didn't care. I was in heaven. Soon, when he felt my hickey was dark enough, he let his tongue slide out to soothe the love-bitten skin. Another soft sigh-like moan escaped my lips and I let my eyes crack open to look at him.

"Feel good?" He asked in a soft, gravelly voice that only I got to hear.

I nodded slightly and pecked his lips, "Yes. Thank you. Very... _relaxed_."

A smile settled on my lips and I slipped out of his lap to sit beside him in the giant armchair. His arms still around my waist, I let my legs drape over his lap and my head nuzzled his chest.

"Are you two done being cute, un?" Deidara spoke, having taken Rayne previous spot, and was sitting in the lap of his own lover, Itachi.

I let out a soft giggle and glanced at the duo. They had finally let out that they're together, and everyone was very happy for them, apart from Sasori, who was bitter towards Itachi. Personally, I thought they were adorable together. Although Sasori was bitter towards the Uchiha, he often found solace in his own lover, Hidan. We were all _baffled_ by this partnership, as Hidan was the loudest fucking person in the group, and Sasori hated Deidara's ranting. But hey, if you're happy, then who cares?

Itachi let out a small smile and squeezed Deidara, "Let them be, Dei-chan. They're no worse than you and I."

He landed a soft peck on the artist's cheek, and Deidara turned red at the pet name.

"Don't call me Dei-chan, un!"

Through his quickly fading anger, he smiled and kissed Itachi's nose. Itachi actually let a slight flush spread over his cheeks and murmured to the blond.

Deidara nodded and stood, holding his hand out to Itachi. The raven took it, and they left the room hand in hand.

"Fucking adorbs, right, Dev?" Hidan chimed from across the room, smirking darkly.

"Shut the fuck up, Hidan. Attend to your own pet." Kisame grinned, back to his dark, deep voice that I loved just as much as his Dev-voice.

"I, am not, a pet, Sharkboy." Sasori growled, his body tensing in anger.

Hidan ran a soothing hand through the crimson locks in his lap, "He was only teasing, Sasori-kun. Calm down."

This was also a lover-only thing. The only person Hidan didn't cuss at was Sasori, and though he denied it, Sasori felt special.

The teen let a small smile grace his lips, before his stoic and calm demeanor slipped back into place. He gave a soft nod, and cuddled back into Hidan, looking more like a boy, than the almost-adult he was.

I turned my head to look at Kisame, who was focused back on the tv. I smiled and kissed him softly. His eyes shifted to me and he smiled lazily, "What?"

"Thanks for introducing me to your friends, 'Same."

He let out a soft chuckle and nodded, "No problem, baby girl. Thanks for liking me, even though I'm an asshole."

"That's nothing, babe. I know you won't be an ass hole to me. What I really have to deal with is your weird hair kink."

A lilac flush spread over his cheeks and he narrowed his eyes teasingly, "Shaddup, Dev."

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**A/N: I hope you guys liked this chapter! It made me giggle a lot, and I am pretty happy with it. Reviews would be super super helpful, because since this is a Crack/AU/OOC fic, I want input on what future chapters should be like. I also want to know if you want a character sheet for the OC's. R/R guys :)**

**- daltonjaydd**


	2. Tickle Attack

**A/N: Helloooo! Second chapter up already, sorry! This story is super easy to write, as it is, like I said, drabble-y goodness :) This chapter is a bit more pre-Kisame/OC, and major OC/OC friendship stuffs. Hope you like this chapter guys.**

**Disclaimer: I still do not own Naruto, sadly.**

**Warnings: Language, I guess. Also, submissive tickle attack, and a small "accident"**

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Pein walked out with a much calmer and much paler Rayne. She sent a devious smirk at me and sat down in an arm chair similar to the one I was in now. Pein sat on the couch to her right and she smiled at him.

Giving her attention back to me, she raised a hand and crooked her finger, beckoning me. I shook my head and snuggled closer to Kisame. She nodded and repeated the action, that malicious smirk still on her face. Again I shook my head and whimpered softly.

"Devyn Akita, you get your scrawny ass over here." She said a bit louder than necessary and cocked an eyebrow, challenging me.

"My ass is anything but scrawny. Hell, I'm almost up in the ranks with Nicki Minaj. Which scares me, quite frankly." I replied and giggled softly.

Kisame looked at me and chuckled, moving a hand to knead one of my ass cheeks. I gasped and looked at him, confusion and embarrassment clear on my face.

"I like your Nicki Minaj ass. Something to hold onto when we fu-"

I cut him off with a hand to his mouth and Rayne raised a hand of her own, "You needn't say more, Shark-man."

With a slight nod of my head, I turned my attention back to the tv, assuming my conversation with Rayne was done. I could feel her eyes boring into my profile and I flinched. I heard her giggle and shift in her chair.

"You know what I'm going to do, don't you?"

With a slight nod of my head, I refused to look at her. The last time she "punished" me for breaking some turtle of hers, she made me piss myself. It was traumatic really, and she even found the need to apologize through her extreme laughter. The memory almost brought tears to my eyes, and made me think back to when it happened.

-flash back-

Rayne had me pinned against a wall and a few of the guys decided to watch the, what they presumed, action. An evil smirk on her face, she ghosted her fingers over the crook of my elbow. I shook my head in panic and flinched.

"You know I hate being tickled, Ray... Please stop."

She shook her head and her face turned a bit more angry, "You broke my ceramic turtle... You know how much that meant to me, and now, you deserve this."

She raised her other hand so they were both resting at my wrists. I shook my head in fear and stared at her with wide eyes, begging her to stop.

When she started tickling down my forearms, the pained laughter and yelps started pouring from my mouth, sounding just as forced and hurt as they were.

"She's really sensitive... Eh, Kisame?.." Hidan remarked and elbowed a then-single Kisame in the ribs.

"Shut up, baka." Kisame countered and returned his attention to me.

My eyes were welling with tears from the laughter, though Rayne continued her tickling attack. Sliding her hands down to the inside of my upper arm, a shriek-like laugh escaped my lips and I squeezed my eyes shut. She tickled the skin there for a while, grinning at my laughter and squeaks. She moved her fingers down a bit further, to my underarms and began tickling them madly.

"N-no! Stop this, right now, Rayne! This isn't funny!"

Her hands slid down to my sides and she smirked, "It's about to get fucking hilarious, Dev. I know how much you like having your sides tickled." She began tickling my sides, digging into the flesh in the places she knew I was most ticklish. My loud laughter was starting to turn into panicked laughs and cries.

"Stop!"

She only quickened her tickling and dug in a bit deeper. I could feel my thighs pressing together and I knew what was going to happen.

"RAYNE! STOP I'M GU-" I stopped myself from speaking when a warm wetness spread between my legs. My head hung in shame and Rayne finally stopped, seeing my heather sweatpants darken.

Her tone was quiet, and actually ashamed sounding, "Devy... I am so sorry, I didn't-"

My crying was uncontrollable and a I screamed at her, "LET ME DOWN, NOW!"

Rayne nodded mutely, and let my arms down. She stepped away, and dropped her head, she fought incredibly hard to bite back the loud laughter bubbling in her throat from my "accident". Tears still pouring down my cheeks, I looked at Pein, Rayne's boyfriend, and sniffled. I had no idea where anything was, other than the living room, as Rayne had only brought me here twice, so I did the only thing I could do.

"Where's the bathroom?"

He stood and held his hand out, "Come with me, I'll get you some new pants and you can clean up in my bathroom..."

I nodded softly and took his hand, letting him lead me through the apartment. I followed with my head hanging and he lead me to a bedroom. Digging through a few drawers, looking for something I could wear, he spoke up.

"This is the first time that's happened, right?" He asked, not looking at me.

I nodded, though he couldn't see me, "Yeah... She tickles me a lot, but it's never gone this far... I'm sorry about this."

"You don't need to be. It's called an accident for a reason." He turned and smiled softly at me. He walked over with a blue hunk of fabric in his hand.

"You're pretty tiny, and I'm pretty big, so I think these should fit..." He handed me a pair of boxers that looked more like Devyn-sized shorts.

"The bathroom is through there, just put your pants and underwear in the hamper in there. I'll wash them for you."

My face flared in embarrassment, but I just nodded and walked to the bathroom.

-back with Rayne-

The guys stared at her in shock when a giggle escaped her throat, before full-blown laughter brought her to her knees, gasping and wheezing for breath as she cackled madly.

"What is wrong with you? You just made your best friend fucking pee her pants..." Kisame growled out, a feeling of protectiveness washing over him.

She looked up, wiping happy tears from her eyes, "Come on, that was fucking hilarious. A 16 year old girl, pissing her pants from getting tickled." She let another cackle escape her throat.

"You're a bitch, Rayne." Hidan chuckled and turned his attention back to the tv.

I walked out a few minutes later wearing much-too-large blue boxers and my tank top. I refused to look at Rayne and I curled up on the couch, as far from her as possible.

"Oh come on, Devy. Get over it. Everyone's had an _accident _before_."_ She chuckled and moved to sit next to me.

"Don't touch me, Rayne." I stood and sat next to Kisame on the love seat, glaring at the tv.

Rayne just scoffed and moved to sit by Pein, who merely put his arm around her shoulders, but said nothing.

-end flashback-

"Get over here. You let me touch your nasty sex-cuffs, and I want revenge." Rayne grinned, seemingly oblivious to the last time she "got revenge".

"No, Rayne. Last time you fucking tickled me, you made me pee my pants. I'm not letting you do it again.

Rayne went white in the face and choked back laughter, speaking in a strained voice, "Oh yeah. So-" giggle, "Sorry about that."

I growled and glared at the tv, just like last time.

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**A/N: This chapter was fun to write, and me and my friend were giggling the whole time. I hope this story makes some people laugh, at least smile. Reviews would be super great! Thanks for reading :)**

**- daltonjaydd**


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